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The Musings of a Blossoming Alchemist

  • I’d lick the knife, too

    May 30th, 2023

    Oh beautiful and serene Kae,
    Celestial beauty in one spark.
    I don’t know if I can repay,
    What you’ve granted my aching heart.

    Taste the blood of those who wronged you,
    On the ground by me they’d be pinned.
    Of the event I’d be fond too,
    Punishing them for how they’ve sinned.

    Desecrating her sanctity,
    A crime punishable by death.
    It’s something I would pay to see,
    To witness or cause their last breath.

    How can I make you comprehend?
    I’d honestly savor the day,
    To witness the death of all men,
    Who’ve looked in an unsav’ry way.

    Nothing unusual or cruel,
    In the atonement of the crime,
    Of the ignoramus or fool,
    Who mistreats the woman that’s mine.

    And I vow that I will leave sore,
    Any poor fuckwit of a man,
    Who slights the woman I adore,
    Even if with just a wrong glance.

    …

    To anyone who disrespects,

    The goddess’s incarnation,

    The woman I‘ve sworn to protect,

    I wish the abomination:

    Merciless annihilation,

    Castration without sedation,

    Their soul’s eternal damnation,

    The lashings of flagellation,

    Pre-mortem incineration,

    And public humiliation.

  • Don’t shoot your roots

    May 30th, 2023

    And to my fam’ly,
    I’m not just unique —
    To their “sanity,”
    I’m a complete freak.

    However somehow,
    Their normality,
    Roots me to the ground —
    To reality.

    Their disposition,
    Is not of malice —
    Though there is friction,
    They provide balance.

    And although sometimes,
    It’s something I hate,
    I’ve come to realize,
    I need counterweight.

  • Panacea

    May 29th, 2023

    To be quite frank
    I can’t believe how I feel
    You’ve struck my flank
    Now down before you I kneel

    A mind so great
    A heart marvelously grand
    I’ll face my fate
    Made courageous by your hand

    Oh so lonely
    These ruthless feelings haunted
    But you only
    Are all I’ve ever wanted

    And my pursuit
    Of the alchemical stone
    Terribly moot
    It is you and you alone

    I kept clawing
    The roaring unyielding itch
    Void so gnawing
    Cavernous vacuous ditch

    And the past wrongs
    Your heart has now rectified
    And by your song
    I’m quite frankly mystified

    Your holy breath
    Unutterable splendor
    A holy death
    You mercifully render

    And I embrace
    Your holy and cooling mist
    And by your grace
    I have been forever kissed

    With no foresight
    I just could not see beyond
    But a new light
    Has been given by this bond

    Vision obscured
    By some limitless sorrow
    But now I’m sure
    That there is a tomorrow

    All you mutter
    And every word that you sing
    Make me shudder
    You are now my everything

  • Forgive me

    May 28th, 2023

    No matter how wise I feel I’ve become,

    And if I feel the world I float above,

    Just one glance and I remember I’m dumb —

    The wise man is rendered a fool in love.

    And these dams of logic built to contain,

    With their towering walls terribly tall,

    Are just not a match for your loving rain —

    Your flood destroys them all and makes them fall.

    A helpless fool carried away to sea,

    It was delusion to think myself sane.

    And though you have certainly set me free,

    And annihilated each of my chains,

    Some part of me wishes that I could flee,

    Because I’ve come to see that love is pain.

    But now you’re forever a part of me,

    On my heart an irreversible stain —

    The deeper and deeper I hold you dear,

    The more and more my heart becomes exposed.

    I’m slowly swallowed by more and more fear,

    My heart had spent way too long being closed.

    As my state of shock slowly dissipates,

    I comprehend I’m the one you’ve chosen.

    The flatline ends and I resuscitate,

    My heart melts and is no longer frozen.

    If your source of heat were to disappear,

    My heart once again left without your light,

    I could not go on if utmost sincere…

    I think I would have to give up the fight.

  • May 27th, 2023

    Listen here now and listen intently —

    I swear to you my love is forever.

    And I will never love more intensely,

    There exist no cutters that can sever.

    Your luminous love renders me breathless,

    There is no greater treasure I cherish.

    My love is eternal and is deathless,

    You must know that it will never perish.

    Care not if away I’m being carried,

    And forgive me if I speak far too bold.

    But I would love for us to get married,

    And for our unified hearts to grow old.

    Your presence strengthens me yet makes me weak,

    And I’ve never known anything more real.

    And no matter how many words I speak,

    I’m powerless to convey what I feel.

    Your love’s imperative for survival,

    A patient plugged to a ventilator.

    Your love is the key to my revival,

    And you are my heart’s defibrillator.

    I kneel before you my queen and altar,

    Elixir of life and my holy grail.

    I vow now my love will never falter,

    It’s invincible and will never fail.

    Now my heart rests in the palm of your hand,

    You’re at liberty to do as you wish.

    You surround and have plucked me from the land,

    You’re the ocean and I swim as the fish.

    Taken by your currents at your mercy,

    Your waters consist of my living womb.

    Still dependent and in need of nursing,

    Your love keeps me from a premature tomb.

  • Mine

    May 27th, 2023

    With the song of your voice

    I am ecstasy-bound

    What a limitless grace,

    What a hallowing sound

    In its tune, I rejoice

    In its tide I shall drown

    And without any choice

    I am plummeting down

    Now you’re armed with a spade

    Set to bury me deep

    In the grave you have made

    I am carried to sleep

    I’m the dragon you’ve slain

    Up the mountain so steep

    I now bask in this pain

    With your sword hidden deep

    And now in the valley

    I can feel Death creeping

    One more soul to tally

    He’s come for the reaping

    I’d like to pull you in

    A vampire after prey

    Join me in my coffin

    Together we can stay

    Stay with me forever

    Look and say that you will

    Leaving’s an endeavor

    That may force me to kill

    If you were to up and go

    Leave and never return

    I just need you to know

    That one of us will burn

    Woe to ye who enter

    The sign above my heart

    You must know you can’t turn

    And go back to the start

    You will either die here

    Or die trying to leave

    How does that sound my dear

    The threat of your bereave

  • The holy liberation of excommunication

    May 23rd, 2023

    The feeling I get when I wear makeup…

    It feels like I’m finally beginning to wake up.

    From a fog, a terrible terrible dream,

    Trying to hold it together, but tearing at the seam.

    The goddess lives within, I hear her scream.

    And she tells me, you are not who you seem!

    But what am I to do? They’ll put me in the stocks!

    “You cannot do this forever. Hear you the clock?”

    You know you hear it ticking!

    Who do you think you’re tricking?

    Yes, my dear, you’re a time bomb.

    Be free. You can’t please your mom!

    Allow the chaos to consume you!

    Only then will you be the true you.

    You know you want to destroy it all.

    Listen to the truth. Hear you my call?

    I do not know what I am, but I know I’ve not been it.

    I deeply abhor living in these limits.

    Their game was always rigged. I could never win it.

    Why, oh why do I care for the opinion of bigots?

    Remember remember the fifth of November.

    Annihilate the bounds and confines of gender.

    I’m starting to think my life would be better,

    If I let myself wear my scarlet letter.

    Do I live a life of constant deception?

    Embracing its hollow protection?

    Living as their mental projection?

    Or do I embrace my destined rejection?

    Cast me away from the garden

    I will not lay beneath

    I do not need your pardon

    And wow, what a relief

    I’m glad we are departin’

    Go and find your Eve

    My life I am restartin’

    My heart on my sleeve

    Liberation is a bargain at any price

    Even if it means losing everyone in my life

  • I bow before the altar. My love will never falter.

    May 22nd, 2023

    I love you so much, it physically aches,

    This is all so good, that it feels near fake.

    Just a single glance, and my breath you take,

    Of all my blessings, you Kae take the cake.

    And when I lay down, my head on your heart,

    I can feel mine stop, and then soon restart.

    No hyperbole, you are sacred art,

    I am a puzzle, you’re the missing part.

    And in your presence, I feel the divine,

    You are my altar, my numinous shrine.

    And if I should pray, for a holy sign,

    I only need look, and recall you’re mine.

  • Thank you.

    May 22nd, 2023

    You remind me who I am meant to be,
    You have snipped me off of the family tree.
    Held to it by the chains of bigotry,
    The woman inside me is at last free!

    No longer bound by the need to blend in,
    You’ve helped set free my divine feminine.
    Hiding and stirring was she deep within,
    But my love, sleeping beauty has risen!

    Oh Kae, how deeply loved you make me feel!
    I still cannot quite believe you are real.
    I now feel my heart beginning to heal,
    And now off the false mask we’ll as one peel.

  • You’re my Morningstar.

    May 17th, 2023

    You’re my Venus, my love.

    Like our Morningstar, your presence heralds the rising of the Sun.

    Oh luminescent, dearest Kae,

    When you are present, soon comes day.

    The end of my dark night,

    The end of my long fight.

    When you are in sight,

    Soon comes the daylight.

    Our love marks the end of my dark night, like our Morningstar Venus, goddess of love, heralds night’s end and day’s beginning 💛

    So peculiar how love’s arrival in our lives can dissolve the darkness we’ve blindly groped our way through for so long.

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