He was just a boy when he knew he was special. Different. That he wanted more.

That marked the beginning of his dark night.

For, from that moment on, for the rest of his adolescence into his early adulthood, there would be a battle — internal and external — between his truth and their lies.

For the rest of his life, he would be in a fight with their chains. Born a warrior, there was no other choice. The true desires of his heart were in direct conflict with what they wanted of him.

And he would try to satisfy them. For so long.

Until the pain grew too much to bear.

He wanted off of this prison bus.

He wanted out of this society and its lies.

He wanted to go. To leave. To disappear.

And so began the plans.

The plans to leave. To find truth, anywhere it might be. 

He just knew it wasn’t here. In this country. In its rings.

The ship was sinking, and he needed on another. He almost stayed in the water and allowed himself to dissolve into oblivion forever.

He wanted them to believe in him.

Would they?

Or would the cord need to be cut forever?

He wanted to leave them behind. To leave humanity behind in its brokenness. To completely embrace the divine. 

…

I can’t live in this society anymore.
I need to move away forever. To know more. To see more. To live life big. Without their limitations.

He wanted to break free from their chains.
Most of all, he wanted her blessing. But she was the one most keen on holding his chains.

But she was only delaying the inevitable.

See, we always knew it was going to come to this. We’ve tried to resist the truth, to blind ourselves to it, but we always knew this was to happen. There was never a way I was going to make it in this world. I was always meant for something more.

We can keep delaying the inevitable, or you can let me fly. Let me heal.

The call of the divine is too strong. I cannot remain here much longer. It’s time for me to go. Let me fly, let me be free. 

I am meant for so much more. This society cannot hold me. This prison cell. The monotony, the routine, the lifelessness. Send me away. Send me to a place where they live in spirit. Where they are healthy. Send me away from the sickness and to a place of health and freedom.

Send me to a place where I can connect with the Earth. Where I can connect with its rhythms. Where I can be pure of heart, and live with the others pure of heart. Where I can connect with the cosmos in an unlimited way. Where I can connect with myself in an unlimited way. Where mother Gaia radiates her endless love. 

Take me away from the falsehood. Take me away from ego. Take me away from these soiled sheets. Let me sleep on the dirt if it means being away from here, they’re cleaner than your lavender-scented-detergent-washed, stupid motherfucking sheets.

Bury me alive if you have to. You already have. 

Take me away from here. Let me live. Let me come back to life. I cannot survive here. This world is not for me. 

Give me liberty, or give me death.
Give me truth, or give me death.
Give me life, or give me death.

Give me love.

It’s not here to be given to me.

That is why I must go.

This place does not have what I need.

See, what I need is not something tangible.

How dare you demand I make my living here when we know man shall not live by bread alone?

What I need is not physical. I do not need material wealth and abundance. I seek food for the spirit. I am starving.

My body is engorged, bloated, stuffed to the brim by pint after pint of ice cream but my spirit is starving, my mind running races on a hamster wheel.

Take me off this wheel.

Give me what I truly need.

It’s not here.
Send me where I can find it. 

Get me away from here. Let me find it.