The Closet Mystic

Always felt like something is missing.

For something out of reach been wishing.

Who am I? Who am I really?

Find it so hard to navigate these feelings —

Always felt like something is off,

A constant sense of suffering.

Always lost in a fog,

Life feels like it’s buffering.

I can’t take it anymore,

I’m crawling in my skin.

Of the cause I’m unsure,

It’s making my head spin.

I’m alive, but not living —

I survive, but no meaning —

Constant ache, constant turmoil;

I feel fake, milk that’s spoiled —

Could it be? Am I female?

About to leave the belly of the whale?

A nauseating feeling that something is wrong,

I’ve grown so used to it, it’s been so long,

I need to know what is the cause.

Show me the wound, hand me the gauze.

I’m starting to believe I am a transformer.

The male me is dying… call over the coroner.