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The Musings of a Blossoming Alchemist

  • Merciful Mercenary

    July 28th, 2022

    And the secret to healing,

    Lies in unrestrained feeling.

    And you will be left reeling,

    When those layers start peeling.

    That one transcendent function,

    Found in holy conjunction.

    Union cannot be revoked,

    The flame eternally stoked,

    Divine truths become uncloaked,

    The One finally evoked.

    If you seek freedom from flocks,

    And seek freedom from the box,

    Embrace holy paradox —

    Only then the cell unlocks.

    Those opposites conspire,

    Make transmutative fire,

    Allowing the spirit to fly ever higher,

    In the blissful union that will never tire.

    Embrace that one holy Love,

    And that pure heavenly dove,

    To make below like Above,

    Freedom without push or shove.

  • Unrefined

    July 28th, 2022

    Hypnosis of the modern age,

    All subject to fictional rage.

    Imprisoned by the pocket cage,

    One are politics and the theatrical stage.

    Oh god, free our minds from the delusion,

    Protect our headspace from the intrusion.

    Is it all from some hidden collusion?

    Bring our head and hearts back into fusion.

    The only way for us to heal,

    Is if the blindfolds we peel.

    We must feel what we really feel,

    God, just show us what is real.

    All these phones are a curse,

    I fear it’ll get worse.

    We live in an illusory narration —

    Am I witnessing the death of a nation?

    I look at nature,

    And wonder if I’m witnessing her erasure —

    We truly are in danger —

    Never has there been a time any stranger.

    We all need to come back to the ground —

    We are so lost, is it too late to be found?

    Our eyes will open, and we will gasp,

    When we see we’re in the devil’s grasp —

    None of this can be sustained.

    To our self destructive ways, we are chained.

    Our eyes will open, and we will be pained,

    When we see that we’re irreversibly stained.

    I fear for the world, I fear for its youth —

    Never has a generation been farther from the truth —

    Take a look, you don’t have to be wise,

    To plainly know we’re all dead in the eyes.

    What is truth, what are lies?

    Oh my god, can you hear my cries?

    Without this blessed life selling pies,

    My ship would have been doomed to capsize…

  • Notes on Pluto!

    June 23rd, 2022

    Here’s some unedited notes on Pluto speculation/diving from the past couple of days. Stream of consciousness with some gold nugs in there. Thanks for reading:

    Pluto on the chart indicates where shadow work needs to be done/what the shadow is/how it is integrated.

    Trines with Pluto may indicate a well integrated shadow/ability to dive into shadow/transmute safely.

    Conjunctions indicate just what and where the shadow is.

    Oppositions… hmmm.

    I want to simply say discordant aspects indicate poor harmony with shadow or lack of integration?

    Pluto transits indicate shadow journeys? And its significator of transformation perhaps is a natural result of what happens when one faces shadow?

    Shadow means absolutely unconscious behaviors that have ability to destroy. The unconscious wild within, perhaps.

    That which will bring death and destruction, unless we allow it to die and be destroyed.

    Can reduce us to little more than our animal nature…

    Powerlessness due to our most primal impulses that are impossible to overcome, except through (spiritual) dying. Can be used to control others for this reason lest you become a Christ and become Spirit, overcoming the vile body.

    Pluto has rulership over both hedonists and ascetics, the full spectrum. This is why Shiva, god of destruction, is also the lord of asceticism. It is the theme of dying, but to the material world, or body. Hedonists die, but to the spiritual self. Ascetics die, too, but to the physical self.

    So Pluto is almost like original sin, in this sense. The ego itself, perhaps the id. The animal and lower nature that we must die to. Here lies the plutonic power that is only power when it is purified and overcome. To use it selfishly is to be at its mercy, unconscious, subject to carnal life and lower self.

    There is a reason why it’s the same symbol as alchemical antimony, representing man’s wild and free nature. But is it free? Are you free if you are prisoner to your impulsive, animal self?

    Pluto has associations with repression as well, for this reason, as we are taught to repress this aspect of self — the animal self.

    But then during times of catharsis and shadow purge, we see what people have been hiding, and how animalistic and selfish we really are. In times of survival, in times of great fear, this is what is activated. The force of shadow and of fear, as fear is directly correlated to the primal body. Only the mortal, animal self which truly does die can fear; our true Minds — or Spirits — cannot die.

    So if you fear, you give in to the animal self. The animal self is the evil self, the unconscious self. This is what is used to control us. When survival needs are threatened, this force becomes active within.

    To overcome shadow is to step through Pluto.

    Harmonious Pluto aspects can mean consciousness of shadow, ability to dive into it and use it, and make the unconscious conscious.

    Probably a major part of where Jung’s work was.

    How can one fully overcome this force?

    That is the absolute purpose of spiritual awakening, true awakening. To overcome the animal self and reunite with God, AKA mind, AKA that force which does not die, AKA that which is antithetical to Pluto.

    Until you fully face your fears — and die — you are subject to Pluto, and you are Persephone, and only when you die unto your mortal, fearing self can you leave the underworld into the true source of light.

    Perhaps it is this process which truly yields the treasures of Hades — or, when we succumb to our animal selves, we hoard resources and worldly riches, trading the spiritual wealth of the true father, for the earthly wealth of the dark king of the material world.

    Pluto is the tyrant king that can control, because he has dominion over the material world — therefore, he can threaten our material bodies, causing fear, which can control mankind, and again, fear is only a result of the physical, mortal body. To overcome this is true Plutonic power, as no one can hold your survival needs over your head and force you to comply with their wishes. This is the ability to die for a belief; this is the ability to be burned alive willingly in protest; this is the ability to endure torture and death for something you Love and not give in. What we will call “false Plutonic power” is holding this power over someone’s head, creating fear to control; What we will call “true” Plutonic power is overcoming your fear and being free so you cannot be controlled in this way.

    It is the deepest someone can go in total transformation of self. Can prove fatal.

    False plutonic power is invoking mortal fear in another to control, or any other means of incentive that appeals to the animal within.

    True plutonic power, that represents full enlightenment and mastery of the self — the most true power anyone can ever step into — is overcoming the animal self, and overcoming mortality itself, that we may never be controlled by fear or any survival impulse. It is to be fully liberated from fear, from darkness, to have fully mastered all levels of self. To be unable to be controlled by any survival impulse — sex, power, fear, food, water. This is what it means to fully become Spirit, a fully-conscious and awakened being. You either fully control your Pluto and become its master, or it fully controls you and is your master. This is the Plutonic theme and key phrase of the power struggle, in the form of the eons-old battle for power between light and dark.

    Pluto can represent anyone along this spectrum — those absolutely slave to their fears and animalistic mortal impulses, those being controlled (or controlling!) in this way, or those who have graduated and mastered the darkness.

    Pluto along Christ’s journey:

    – Being tempted by devil with the world during 40 day desert fast (attempted Plutonic control);

    – The agony of his death and Crucifixion (allowing the shadow and animal self to die)

    – And his Resurrection (fully stepping through and overcoming the shadow, and thus death, and displaying full mastery over the earthly realm of death AKA Pluto).

    In this way, all spiritual adepts, alchemists, and those seeking Gnosis must endure this allegorical journey of death to the material world, becoming a Christ in the process. But the only way to do so is to fully die to Plutonic control and master it — and thus, the world.

    Interestingly, on the opposite polarity of Christ’s journey, Pluto can also have associations with “selling your soul to the devil.” AKA, giving up Spirit (true father) for the world of earthly delights (false father/tyrant king, and Pluto’s mine, and why he is god of wealth). This is perhaps one of the greatest examples of Pluto’s “all or nothing” mentality — you either choose the spiritual father of Light, or the evil earthly tyrant of darkness. Where “you cannot follow two shepherds at once” or “you cannot have two masters” comes from. I know Saturn is usually associated with the devil, but it works far too well here to ignore Pluto’s potential and apparent association with the devil.

    Pluto on the chart is either where we have the power to conquer the world, or where we will be conquered by the world. Paradoxically, what appears outwardly as conquering the world, is truly being conquered by it. The only way to truly conquer the world with true Plutonic power, is to not be bound by it. It is full enlightenment and mastery of the material plane, and to be true king of the material plane.

    Part 2:

    For those interested:

    The symbol for alchemical antimony, representing man’s wild nature, the raw and primal beast/animal within. Exactly the same as the Pluto glyph, except for the circle being attached by a line to the crescent.

    Antimony was known to destroy (not sure what the right word is here) all other metals except for Gold. In other words, Pluto can overwhelm all of our other faculties, including our logic, but we can overcome with the courage of the inner Hero, the Sun, the spark of the divine that exists within each of us as the golden Son.

    Gold, alchemically being the Sun, is that Divine Spirit that can overcome Pluto. Gold/Sun/Father is the True King; man’s divine, immortal Spirit. Perhaps can be equated with the Logos, though I am unsure. Antimony/Pluto is the false king; man’s dying, damned, ignorant nature (ignorance = evil), it is the animal within doomed to death one day. Quite powerful, and can override all other facets of the psyche (found in antimony’s ability to destroy all other metals) except for the divine Spirit, and inner essence of the immortal Source (found in antimony’s inability to destroy Gold — or destroy God).

    This relationship between Gold and Antimony shows us the relationship between our inner hero (Gold) and Pluto (antimony). It gives clues to the Pluto-afflicted on how they may overcome.

    This connection between antimony and Pluto also gives us clues on major, and somewhat ignored, significations for Pluto. Those with Pluto heavy are thought of as sexually raw and libidinous; why? It is because the animalistic spirit within them is VERY ACTIVE! Where Pluto is on the chart, you are shown where raw, blind, but POWERFUL animalistic power is available, and a theme. Pluto is associated with fear and paranoia, because it is only the feral animal within that fears.

    Pluto, in essence, is our animal self. It is the animal self that can be controlled (Plutonic control); it is the animal self that desires the world (Pluto’s worldly riches); it is the animal self that can be overcome and mastered through the divine spirit of the Sun/Son/Father latent within and accessible to all (transcendence and conquering of Pluto, AKA true Plutonic power, which is not Plutonic power at all, but actually Solar power, as the full and completed journey of the Hero and Spirit within).

    Many associate Christ with Neptune. While this is certainly accurate in some ways, I personally find Christ’s journey, at least at its culmination, to have far more significations with Pluto. This is seen in his torture, death, and resurrection (literally death & rebirth, it does not get more Plutonian than that). Christ was also said to have journeyed to Hell/the underworld (Pluto) while he was dead (feel free to fact check me on that though, as I am unsure). While much of the symbolism in the Bible is Neptunian/Piscean in nature, with the ritual washing of feet, symbolism of Baptism, and the unconditional love of Christ, there was also quite a bit of Plutonic (and even Uranian) themes to Christ as well.

    Christ represents the journey of the soul in awakening. He embodies the journey of the Sun-Son through the planetary order, culminating with the climax (ahem, Pluto) of his story through Pluto’s death and rebirth. He played the revolutionary (Uranus); he played the forgiver of sins (Neptune); then he sacrificed himself to die and be born again (Pluto).

  • Sweet Androgyne, Good Times Never Seemed So Good

    June 19th, 2022

    I’ve accomplished an impossible feat;

    The poles are united, I am complete;

    I am both Mother, the milk of her teat,

    And blazing Father, his glorious heat;

    I am the All, I am eternal;

    I’m nocturnal, and also diurnal;

    I am the light, and I am the dark,

    I am now one, I am the spark;

    Caduceus spins, round and round,

    No longer lost, I have been found —

    Out of the stone, the sword’s unbound,

    Around my spine, two serpents are wound —

    And from my mind, two wings have spread,

    Coming to life, all that was dead;

    And I see gold, where others see lead,

    And it’s because, of the newly wed —

    The power lies in their beautiful child —

    They unite the divine and the wild —

    I love you so much, I’m glad you are mine,

    You are my all, my sweet androgyne.

  • June 6th, 2022

    Brothers, sisters, it’s time to rebel —

    Let’s condemn the slave masters to hell.

    This is a rising they cannot quell,

    It’s time for their tower to be fell.

    I want magic, I want life —

    Don’t wanna “settle-as-husband-and-wife” —

    I want to burn, I want to feel it all —

    Oh how I yearn, to watch this tower fall —

    To tell you the truth, nothing would be more tragic,

    Than to waste my youth, living life without magic.

    Living in the land of the walking dead,

    Chained to the pursuit of our daily bread.

    All so hungry, yet so overfed,

    Of all the metals, we are like lead.

  • June 6th, 2022

    And all we are,

    Is expressions of the stars.

    This life’s a stage,

    And every act is an age.

    As below, so above,

    The highest force is love.

    As above, so below;

    So much we do not know.

    The inside and outside are one,

    And this life’s just for fun.

    Outside’s the same as the inside,

    Life’s just a theme park ride.

    ~

    Wake up, darling, it’s only a dream!

    All of the neighbors can hear you scream!

    It’s in your head, what have you to fear?

    Awake my darling, the end draws near…

    ~

    Darling, that skin suit is oh-so-sheer!

    Inside your very soul I can peer.

    Oh, my darling, oh my baby dear —

    There is no shame in shedding a tear!

    Oh, my sweet child, you cannot hide…

    I can see you when you close your eyes!

    Now just take your hands off of your face —

    And accept me in my warm embrace —

    You cannot hide from me what is true —

    Peek-a-boo, my child, I see you!

    ~

    You might claim love is stupid —

    And you’d probably be right!

    Then in flies sure-shot Cupid —

    Then you melt at your love’s sight!

    Then you think, I’ve not lived until now —

    Life before this? No idea how…

    I have died, and have been born again —

    You, my dear, are a God-send.

    You alone hold the keys to my heart,

    It’s an ignition only you can start.

    I weep already for the day we part,

    For to the wind of life, we are a fart.

    And just enough am I clever,

    To know this won’t last forever.

    Holding on, useless endeavor —

    All connections one day sever.

  • The depths of my sorrow,

    May 22nd, 2022

    assuaged only by hopes of a better tomorrow.

  • Llorar

    May 22nd, 2022

    So much hurt, so much pain,

    No detergent can clean this stain.

    Darkness in the world is in reign,

    I pray for it to be washed by the rain.

    Existence itself is my bane.

    I’m stuck in the ward of the mentally insane.

    Please, just get me off this train,

    As Abel, I’m handcuffed to Cain,

    I love, but they’d have me slain.

    From where comes their disdain?

    God, oh God, break this chain.

    For all I care, take me to Spain,

    Just anywhere where they have a brain.

    It’s an impossible escape, I’m David Blaine.

    Have I made it plain?

    From this world I wish to refrain.

    I want to see it flushed down the drain.

    Happiness is something we all feign,

    And my will to go on has begun to wane.

    God, save me like a plush by a crane!

    Sometimes I feel like I wanna cut…

    Yes, so badly do I want to cut…

    Cut to the part of my life that’s actually peaceful!

  • Dense.

    May 22nd, 2022

    I wish I could tuck my hair,

    Into a hood,

    And disappear with no care,

    Into the woods.

    I can’t help but stare,

    At the scars we all don,

    So much pain we all bear,

    I cannot go on.

    What can I do?

    All people are hurt.

    Their hearts so blue,

    Hidden in their shirts.

    All I can say,

    Is this is a fact:

    All in light of day,

    Is one big act.

    It’s one big lie,

    All that we do.

    ‘Till we all die,

    And our lips turn blue.

    I will just try,

    To live pure and true,

    But I want to say bye,

    To everyone, including you.

    When will we see,

    We are all one?

    There is no me,

    We’re children of the Sun?

    To all, I ask,

    Where is the love?

    Let go of your mask —

    We’re all from Above.

  • I can’t always use my powers for good.

    May 22nd, 2022

    She’s long and she’s slender,

    And she has a spirit oh-so-tender.

    Of the elements, she is a bender,

    Of hearts, she is a mender.

    Of pain, she is an ender,

    And of love, she is a sender.

    Of help, she’s always a lender,

    And on my scale, she’s a tenner.

    I want her for what’s outer and inner,

    Looking at her turns my head to a spinner —

    And with her, I want to be a sinner…

    Between her legs is my dinner.

    Once I win her,

    On my bed I would pin her,

    Spank her so hard I might skin her…

    I want nothing more than to be in her.

    Spirit of good, spirit of grace —

    That tail is something I’m willing to chase —

    Do you think you could keep up with my pace?

    Every inch of your body my tongue will trace —

    You’ll close your eyes and be in outer space.

    I just want you to hop on my face,

    And ride me like I’m a horse in a race —

    Oh please, won’t you give me a taste?

    You’ll scream so loud, the dead will raise —

    I’m someone you’ll never cease to amaze,

    You’re deserving of endless praise —

    Seeing you leaves me in a daze —

    And no, this is not just a phase —

    Be with me till the end of days —

    I want you so bad, I’m in a craze —

    You’re my ticket out of life’s maze —

    It’s no secret I think you’re fine —

    I’ll leave chills running up your spine —

    Sip on you slowly like fine wine —

    I will not rest until you are mine —

    I’ll fuck you like I’m going to war —

    And I’ll leave you oh so sore —

    We’ll go from night till morn,

    And you’ll still be begging for more —

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